Decisions
by ReadLikeYouMeanIt
Summary: Princess April Schreave thought she had made the right decisions before, but is now conflicted on what the right thing to do is. Which decisions will she make to set things straight? Sequel to my first story: A New Selection.
1. Chapter 1

**The sequel is heeeeeere! Thank you all so much for reading! If you haven't read my first story, please do so now. It is called _A New Selection_, and if you haven't read it, this will be very confusing for you. Also, I do not own The Selection. All rights go to the wonderful Kiera Cass. Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

I wake up at the hospital at home. My let hurts as well as my left side. At first I don't know where I am, but I look at the clock on the wall and I know I'm at the hospital. There's an IV in my arm and a blood transfusion as well. I hear a weird beeping noise. It's kind of freaking me out. I look over to see what it is. _Oh_, I think. _It's just a heart monitor._ I look at the clock again to see what time it is. _3:00_. I wonder what day it is. I buzz for the nurse to come. After about ten seconds, she shows up.

"Good morning, your highness." She says.

"Good morning, Danica." I reply.

"I assume you slept well. You were out for a whole day."

"A whole day?"

"It was planned, the doctor gave you medicine so you would sleep through most of the pain. Speaking of which, what' scour pain level on a scale from 1-10?"

I think for a moment. "About a seven and-a-half."

"Is that for your shoulder _and_ your side?"

"Yes."

"Alright. Well you seem to be doing pretty well. The doctor has you on some pretty heavy painkillers, so you should start feeling better within about a week or so."

"What were my injuries exactly?"

"Two wounds. One in your shoulder, one in your side. The one on the side basically scraped your side, but made a big gash. The leg wound went into your leg, but the doctors got it out two days ago in surgery."

"How am I going to walk?"

"You're going to use a wheelchair and then crutches."

I groan. I had crutches for three days when I was fourteen and I sprained my ankle. It's not as fun as you'd think it would be.

"Am I going to have a scar?" I ask.

"Two small ones, but they won't be very noticeable." She replies.

I sigh and throw my head back in frustration.

"I'm sorry, April." She apologizes.

"It's alright, I can live with it."

"Why don't we get you something to eat?"

"Yes, please."

She smiles. "I'll be right back with some food."

"Thank you, Danica."

"Your welcome."

I have a meal of soup, bread, mixed fruit, and milk to help my leg's bone structure grow back into place. I didn't realize how hungry I was, but it makes sense since I was asleep for all that time.

Mom comes to visit me at about four-thirty. She's just visited Nathan. He's in critical condition. He was shot through the upper stomach. He had a lot of blood loss, but they're pretty sure he'll make it. He's on oxygen, he's getting transfusions, and there's a tube in his stomach to deliver nutrients to him since he can't eat. I want to visit him, but I'm bed-ridden for another day or so. Nat was dismissed from the hospital yesterday. He had a minor surgery on his ankle when we first arrived, but he's on crutches now. He should be able to walk in a few days. Lance had a few minor injuries that were taken care of on the first day. The same thing happened to Dad. Matthew is getting treated for his back and a broken knee-cap. He will be on crutches as well. I swear we won't have another pair of crutches left if someone else needs them since so many of us have leg injuries.

"How's Crystal's party coming along?" I ask Mom.

"It's going well. All the arrangements are in place. Crystal is already sure she wants to do mattress surfing again." Mom says. I giggle.

Mattress surfing is something we saw in an old movie where you take a mattress and go down a slide (or in our case, a grand staircase that's transformed into a slide).

"I wish I could be there to help plan." I say.

"Well, I'm pretty sure she understands why you can't." Mom says, holding my hand.

"What's Dad doing?"

Mom sighs. "He's trying to negotiate with the Swendish King on a punishment for Chris."

"I say death."

"April," Mom scolds.

"What?" I shrug. "He deserves it."

"They're considering jail-time. I think that's what they're going to do. They're definitely going to have him see a therapist."

"Maybe someone can straighten that psycho out."

"April, I know he has done horrible things to this family, but don't be so rude."

"Alright." I say. "When can I see Nathan?" I change the subject.

"Soon. He's conscious, but he's not responding to anything. It's like a coma, but he knows what's happening. The doctors think it could be due to trauma." Mom says.

"And Matt?"

"They think he might be dismissed tonight, so you might be able to see him soon."

"Good. How's he doing?"

"He's almost back to his normal self despite all of the injuries."

"Is he depressed or something?"

"Well, he's been having nightmares."

"What nightmares? Does he have post-traumatic stress?"

Mom nods. "The doctors are working on getting him out of it."

I sit back in awe. I think, _My life is about to get a little more difficult._


	2. Chapter 2

**I just finished my first day of theatre camp and I'm tired. So I thought I'd update! That makes sense, right? Thank you all so much for reading! I don't really have much to say right now so, yeah. Let's get to it!**

**theoneforever- thank you!**

**Kiren- Okay! I will! ;)**

**Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

Matt is dismissed after visiting hours are over, so he can't come visit me. The doctors also want him to get resettled so he can rest more. I just want to see him. It's been forever since I've gotten to sit with him, just him and me. I kind of need that right now.

My nightmares are haunting. Most of them have to do with Matthew and the rescue team. I finally wake myself up. I sit straight up, wide awake, panting, and gripping the sheets on the bed. I take a while to compose myself. _It's just a dream,_ I remind myself. _He's safe. He's safe._ I look at the clock. _5:30_. I decide I've had enough sleep. I want to go to the gardens, but then I remember that I'm kind of immobile. But it would be so nice to go outside...

I buzz for the nurse. She comes pretty fast.

"Good morning, your highness. What can I do for you?" She recites the routine question.

"Good morning, Danica. Is there any way that I could go outside?" I ask. I can feel the pleading seeping into my eyes.

"It might take a few minutes to get you into a wheel-chair, but it can be done. Would you like to go outside?"

"Yes please." I smile.

"Alright then, I'll get a few other nurses to help me move you. I'll be right back, so don't move until I return."

"Will do," I fake-salute. She smiles and goes to get the other nurses.

Moving hurts. Getting my leg out of the bed is especially hard. The doctors told me part of the bone was fractured due to the impact of the bullet. My side hurts a little as I move as well. It's times like this that I wish I had more upper-body strength. I'm eventually wheeled out to the gardens, but at least I got there. We get there just in time for the sunrise. I look silly out here with a hospital gown on. I don't really care. I breathe the fresh air and just soak up my surroundings. I've missed this place. The nurses leave me alone by one of the big fountains. I touch the water gently, like Jasmine from that ancient movie Aladdin. The ripples slowly float toward the edges of the fountain. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I let it out slowly. It feels so good to be out here.

"Lovely morning." A voice behind me says.

I gasp and jump about a foot in the air. I whip around and see Matthew standing a few feet behind me on crutches.

"Matthew!" I breathe. He walks over and embraces me tightly. I hug him back. We finally let go after a few minutes, and I realize I'm crying.

"What's the matter, my darling?" He asks.

I giggle. "Nothing, my dear. I just love you so much." I wipe away the tears.

"I love you too. So, so much." He smiles. I've missed his smile so much. I didn't realize until now how much I really missed him. Why did I ever let him get away?

"I know what you're thinking," he says. I look up at him. "And trust me, I don't blame you for anything. Chris is a horrible, twisted person. You shouldn't blame yourself for anything."

I sigh and start crying again. Matthew pulls me in for another embrace. It feels so good to have him here, holding me. We sit there for a while, then the nurses come to get me. Oh yeah, I think. I'm not actually checked out of the hospital. Matthew walks back to the hospital with us as another nurse pushes me back. A guard opens the door for us and as I'm being wheeled back, I see Nat coming down the hallway with some flowers. He and I make eye-contact, but we don't say anything to each other.


	3. Chapter 3

**Some of you will be mad at me at the end of this chapter. Just a heads up! Okay, I can't sleep, and I need to update, so here you go! I'm exhausted, but I feel like typing, so if I type a lot but don't make sense, that's why. Thanks for reading! You guys are awesome!**

**PrincessIndia- thank you so much! The second part...I can't really tell you. You're going to have to find out. This chapter won't clear things up, I'm afraid. Thank you, though!**

**Theoneforever- I find it kind of funny that you're so focused on one character, but I also love that I'm making people like that! Thank you so much for your review!**

**Kiren- "Love is troublesome." Preach! I do hope you find love someday, though. I think everybody deserves it, no matter how cliche it sounds! Haha, thanks for the review!**

**idk0- can't say if I will! That would give away the ending! But I feel your pain. That happens to me whenever I read about a love triangle. Thanks for the review, though!**

**Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

I get checked out of the hospital pretty quickly. I still have to use the damn wheelchair, though. Matthew waits outside so he can walk me to breakfast.

We arrive at. The dining room and the nurse wheels me to the table. I sit between Matthew and Lance and across from Nat. I don't make much eye-contact with him. Things just feel too weird there. Mom and Dad give me a hug before I sit down, and then we begin to eat. We have crêpes with a hazelnut-chocolate spread, bacon, and pomegranate juice to drink. It is absolute heaven in my mouth. I finish my meal fairly quickly. When I'm done, I'm not really sure what to do. It's not like I can jump up and go somewhere. I sit there politely while everyone finishes.

Dad finishes and announces, "Everyone, I'd like to make an announcement. Now, we will be having some changes in staff soon to keep security going well. Now as you know, our chief of security will be retiring soon. So that means—" Dad is suddenly interrupted by a piercing alarm. My immediate family gasps. Matthew looks confused. I don't look over at Nat.

"Everyone, to the safe rooms!" Dad commands.

A guard rushes to my side and runs me to the safe room. Matthew is shoved in a wheelchair as well and wheeled down the hall. We reach the safe room and begin to relax.

"What was that?" Matthew asks, panting.

"Rebel alarms. They're a warning when rebels are attacking." I respond.

"Rebels?" Matthew asks.

I nod. "The last time they attacked was when I was about fourteen or fifteen."

Dad stands up to finish his announcement. "As I was saying earlier, we need to upgrade security. Since our head of security is retiring, we need to hire someone else pronto." We all nod in agreement. "So I've chosen a very impressive candidate. He did very well during the rescue, he knows us all pretty well, and he has a lot of experience with a gun."

_Boy_, I think. _This guy sounds awesome!_

"I think our next head of security should be Nathaniel Caprio, or as you know him, Nat."


	4. Chapter 4

**I've been having a lot of writer's block lately, so I apologize for the late updates. Thank you all for reading! You guys are awesome!**

**theoneforever- haha, thank you so much! I really appreciate that!**

**PrincessIndia- I apologize for the frustration, but I'm glad you like the story! Thank you!**

**Kiren- I struggle with auto-correct too. Sometimes it just corrects into absurdly stupid words and I'm like, REALLY? I also understand about the love thing...I think. I don't know. I'm the type of person who daydreams a lot, soooo...Thanks for the review and the PM!**

**Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

I sit there, hopefully no emotions showing. _Nat is going to be here_, I think. _Nat is going to be protecting _my _family. Great going, Dad_.

Matthew looks a little surprised. "That's wonderful news!" He finally says. We all stare at him. "Well, you seemed to know April pretty well. You've gotten to know the family too. I think it's a great idea."

"You do?" I ask. Everyone stares at me. "I-I-I'm just relieved. I thought maybe you would oppose this idea."

"Why would you think that?"

"Oh, um, no reason." I stare at the ground. No one says anything else. I can't believe _Nat_ is going to be this close to my family. How could Dad do this to me? I mean, it's pretty obvious there's tension there. I wish I could go to the gardens, or the art room, or anywhere else for that matter. But I can't, because the stupid rebels are attacking. But is it rebels? Do we know who it is? I decide to just flat out ask.

"Who is it that's attacking us?" I ask Dad.

"Chris, we suspect," Nat answers. "But you never know. It could be someone else. New Asia has been difficult again lately."

_Again? _I think. _Shit, we have a big problem on our hands_.

I nod and look away from Nat.

"Your Majesty," Matthew starts, but Dad cuts him off with a stare. "Dad, this may sound very ignorant, but what can we do until the attack's over?"

"Not much," Mom pipes up. "There may be a few books scattered about the room, but other than that, there's nothing much to do."

"I understand." Matthew says. "Can we still get reports from the guards on what's happening?"

"Not right now. The system's down. We thought we could get it repaired _way_ before a rebel attack, but apparently not." Dad replies.

"I just...can't believe that the rebels are attacking _again_." Crystal says.

"I'm surprised you remember them. They stopped when you were still pretty little." Lance says.

"It's not like you forget them, though." She disputes.

We're all pretty quiet. If everyone is thinking what I'm thinking, then they're all remembering how bad stuff got years ago and are wondering how things are going to turn out now.

"Why don't we do something?" Mom breaks the silence.

"Like what?" Crystal asks.

"I don't know...play cards, play charades, do _something_! I hate to see us depressed like this. There must be some way we can pass the time."

"I think that's a great idea, America." Matthew says.

"Thank you, Matthew." Mom says.

"America, some of us need to get work done." Dad says.

"You always need to get work done. Let's just do something."

"King Maxon, we have an update on the attack." Nat says.

"Excuse me, America, I have work to do." Dad gets up and walks to the other side of the safe room to talk to Nat.

Matthew squeezes my hand. "Come on, let's do something."

"Matt, I don't really feel like doing anything." I say.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

"Yeah." I say.

"Alright." He turns to Mom. "America, what'd you say to a game of B.S?" The two go on to play a game where they guess if the other one's lying or not. I've played before, but I'm horrible at guessing if the other one's lying. I always guess at the wrong time!

After a while, I realize I need to do something. I'm going to go crazy if I don't. I decide to read a book. It's about a girl who drowned her boyfriend and is afraid of falling in love with someone else. **Comment below if you know which book I'm talking about! **She's trying to fall in love with someone else, and I'm getting so frustrated! _Just pick the other guy!_ I think. Love triangles get so frustrating! **Umm...**

Eventually, I decide to talk to someone. I go talk to Crystal. I haven't really said anything to her at all since I got back.

"Hey," I say as I wheel over.

"Hey," she says back. She's clearly been picking at her nail polish. She has a neat pile of nail polish chips beside her and her nails look horrible. She has a tendency to do this when she's stressed.

"Are you doing okay?" I ask.

"What? Oh, uh, I guess...considering." She replies.

"Yeah," I huff. "Are you excited about your birthday party?"

"Yeah. I think everyone is gonna be here in a few days."

"Awesome! I heard you want to do mattress surfing again."

"Yeah," she blushes.

"That's not a bad thing! I did it about five years in a row. I still love doing it!"

"Will you be able to do it?"

"It might be like a little kid. They're going to have to lift me onto the mattress and push me down. I can't actually surf, but I can slide."

"Still fun!" She tries to cheer me up. "That's what Mom made me do at a lot of your parties."

"Yeah, that's mom for ya!"

We giggle.

I sigh. "I can't believe how mature you're getting."

"What made you think that?" She asks.

"I don't know. Everything. You coming to sit with me in the hospital a few weeks ago. You not panicking during the rebel attack."

"What are princesses for?" She shrugs.

I smile. "I mean it. You're growing up so quickly."

"You too."

"What?"

"Yeah, you've really matured ever since Lance left the throne to you."

"I guess I was a bit reckless." I look at the ground.

"A little?" She raises her eyebrows.

"Okay, maybe a lot. But you have to move on after a while."

"I agree." She nods.

"I'm glad you and I have matured. I have a feeling we're going to need to keep ourselves together in the next few weeks."


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! Thanks for reading! I don't really have anything to say, so on to the story!**

**theoneforever- haha, I couldn't resist. It just sounds so freakin fun! Thanks for the review!**

**PrincessIndia-Thank you so much!**

**Kiren- sounds interesting... Thanks for the review!**

**MyOwnEndings-That French place sounds good! I bet it would be fun to go to with a few friends! And yes, that was from Ripple. Also, your best friend sounds awesome. :) Thanks for the review!**

**Enjoy!-ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

The rebel attack is over. It's so weird going down the vandalized halls. This hasn't happened in so long. The halls are covered with the same phrase, _Bad Decision_. It's pretty clear who did this.

"Chris was the cause of this attack." Dad says in a meeting about the attack.

_Big shocker_. I think

"However, he had some accomplices."

_Wait, what?_

"I'm sure you all are familiar with the Prince of France, Kyle."

I sigh and roll my eyes. I put my head in my hand.

"We suspect one of the other Selection candidates may be involved."

I sit back and roll my eyes. _This can't really be happening_, I think.

"We're going to try to deal with this in the most peaceful way possible. If another rebel attack may occur, the guards have been instructed not to shoot unless they shoot first. We'll call another meeting once we receive further information."

I have been permitted to use crutches now, so I grab them and head to the gardens. My cheeks feel hot. I'm so furious with everything that's happening. So many people are plotting against me. It's hard to see the good in my life right now.

I go the fountain that I sat at the night before we left. All of my emotions ball up inside of me and I'm not really sure I can take this anymore. I feels so stressed and upset that I just start crying. I hate crying. I'm sick of crying. But right now, it's the only way I can express my emotions. I'm glad I'm wearing jeans today. Since I'm on crutches, I can wear pants since they don't want a dress to get in my way. I put my feet up on the edge where I'm sitting and I hold my knees up to my chest. Everything just seems so ridiculous. This isn't a soap-opera. What has my life become? Have I really betrayed this many people?

"Mind if I sit down?" I turn around and see Nat behind me.

I don't really know what to say. I sniffle and say, "I guess." I turn back around and hug my knees.

We sit in silence for a while, then Nat says, "I know you're life must suck right now."

I huff. "That's an understatement."

"I know. Just know that these guys are just sore losers. Don't blame yourself. If they were with you, they wouldn't be truly happy: they just think they'd be since they see you and Matt so perfect together and they think they could have that with you."

I twiddle my thumbs, not knowing how to respond.

"I know you're probably pretty mad at me." He says. "I had no right to kiss you that night. Just know I didn't take this job to be closer to you, or to sabotage Matthew."

"Then why _did_ you take it?" I question him.

He sighs, trying to find the right words. "Do you know what it's like to _need_ to get out of a place?"

"Yes."

"Me too. I didn't want to stay in Calgary as a lumberman working for my Dad's business. I wanted to do something. I want to help people. Everything changed when I met you. I knew an opportunity would come once you asked me to come here with you. And it did. So I want to thank you."

I pause, awestruck. He gets up to walk away, but I stop him. "Nat, wait." He turns around. "I'm sorry for isolating you. I didn't know the whole story and I just made assumptions. I assumed it was going to be like the situation I'm in now with Chris and Kyle and whoever else has joined them. Thank you. For being there for me, but not being jealous and being understanding."

"Your welcome." He starts to walk away again.

"And just for the record, I don't mind that you kissed me." I smile. He smiles back. He leaves the gardens, and is left alone again. But now, I feel so much better than before.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! This chapter is a little different from what I usually write, but it kind of needs to be written. At least, I think it does. Thanks so much for reading! I'm sorry for the infrequent updating. That'll probably get better when I start school, ironically. On with the story!**

**Grace- I would love to put more romance, but the thing is, I don't want this to be like Fifty Shades of Grey. That may be disappointing, but I just don't want to go into detail like that. Call me a coward, but I don't want to do that. Sorry if this is disappointing. Thanks for the review though! I'll try to make it a little more romantic, at least.**

**ThisGirlActuallyReads- Yeah! I actually went there last summer and loved it. I felt like it needed to be mentioned. Thanks for the review!**

**Mhpropp16- haha, I don't either! Thanks for the review!**

**Theoneforever- Haha. Thank you so much! **

**Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

Dad has called a meeting. There has been more information on the rebels. Chris and Kyle's accomplice has been revealed. I can't believe this. I always knew he seemed suspicious. Thank God he never got truly close to me. Thank God his mother messed things up for him during the Selection. I just can't believe him. He's a really good actor.

Will McCartney is their accomplice.

He's actually French. He was raised in France, but moved to Illéa when he was seventeen. He's been working with Kyle _and_ Chris for years now. I went on dates with him. He's been in the palace. He probably went exploring. He probably knows some of the secrets within the palace. The bastard.

I sit in my chair with my hands on my head. I can feel Matthew's arm around me. I don't look up. I don't even acknowledge that anyone else is in the room. I just keep my head down and keep thinking to myself. Everything seems like a disaster right now. This all feels like a nightmare. My mind seems to be wanting to tell me that this is just a dream and I'll wake up, with everything being okay. But I know that's not true. This all hurts too much for it to be fake.

A guard comes up to Matthew and I. "Your majesties," he says. "The Queen wishes to speak to you all."

"Is everything all right?" Matthew asks.

"Everything's fine. Her majesty wants to discuss the Princess's upcoming birthday.

"Tell her we'll be right up." Matthew says.

The guard leaves us.

Matthew—who is now off crutches—gets up and grabs my crutches. "Come on, April. We should really go."

I sigh and take my crutches from him. He helps me up and pulls the chairs out of the way so I have room to move.

We walk up in silence. I'm too depressed to talk. It's so hard to after I've been given news like that.

When we arrive, Mom greets us with a smile.

"How are you two doing?" She asks.

Matthew sighs. "We've been better."

"I'm so sorry you two have to deal with this." She says, sympathetically. "I know everything seems horrible right now, but I promise that things will get better eventually."

"Thanks, Mom." I say.

"Now," she changes the subject. "I thought we'd surprise Crystal with something. Maybe a performance from one of the popular bands she loves."

"She'd love it." I say monotony. I can't bring myself to be enthusiastic, and I hate that I can't. "What about XYZ Boys? She loves them."

"Sounds good to me." Matthew says.

"Alright. I'll see what I can do. Why don't we have a back-up in case they're busy?" Mom asks.

"Does she like The Fenders?" Matthew asks.

"Yeah, she loves them." I say.

"Go with them for a back-up. It sounds like XYZ Boys are her favorite." Matthew says.

"Alright. Sounds good! Thank you two." Mom says.

"Anytime. The party's going to be awesome." Matthew says.

"I have a feeling it will be too." Mom says with a smile. "Matthew, you may go. April, can you stay for a bit?"

"Of course." I reply. Matthew gives me a kiss on the cheek and leaves.

"April, I know that this is a really difficult time for you right now." Mom says.

I huff. "Yeah."

"I would hate to be in this position, and I know this is especially hard since you haven't dealt with anything like this before. But the thing is, you have to be better at keeping up appearances."

"Excuse me?"

"Look April, if you're going to run the country, you need it know how to deal with high-pressure situations like this and appear to be calm."

"I need to be _calm_? I'm expected to be _calm_ during this? Do you know how hard it is to be calm during a situation like this?"

"Yes I do, actually. I know it's difficult, but you have to keep up appearances."

"Keep up appearances?"

"Yes! If you're going to run this country, the public needs to be able to trust you. They need to think that you're calm under high-pressure situations, even if you're not. I know it's hard, trust me. I'll help you too, but for now, you need to try harder."

I pause. "All right." I finally say.

"Thank you, honey." She says.

I leave the room and walk swiftly up to my room. Once I'm there, I collapse onto my bed, grab a pillow, bite down on it, and scream my head off. Nobody hears my muffled cries, thank God. By the time I'm done, my throat is raw. I've lost my voice and can't go any louder than a whisper. I ring the bell for my maids.

Paige comes in and says, "How may I help you, your majesty?"

"Paige, would you mind bringing me some herbal tea?" I whisper calmly.

"Of course," She whispers back. "May I ask why we're whispering?"

"I'm afraid I've lost my voice." I say.

"Oh!" She says in her normal voice. "I'm sorry! I'll get your tea right away."

"Thank you."

How's that for keeping up appearances, Mom?


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys. I'm really sorry that I haven't been updating much in the past few weeks, but I've been really busy and I'm very tired. I'm also having a little bit of trouble making the story play out right. I know this sounds like a flimsy excuse, but frankly, I don't care. I'm freaking exhausted. Thank you all so much for your support! I hope you're enjoying the story!**

**theoneforever- haha, my dear. I have a friend that calls me that a lot. Every time she says that, I say, "I am NOT you dear!" Haha. Thanks for your reviews! They always make me smile!**

**Kiren- You and me both. :) Thanks for the review!**

**MyOwnEndings- I know, right?! I think my favorite video making fun of that is Sawyer Hartman's challenge with Grace Helbig. I'm absolutely obsessed with YouTubers, like Tyler Oakley and Conner Franta. ;) Also, that friend of yours sounds freaking awesome. I understand your disappointment. Risk Tisk indeed. :) Thanks for the review!**

**enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt.**

We're going to try to communicate with the guys, find out what they really want. This is going to be hard. I can barely stand the thought of them. How am I going to reason with them?

The attacks have happened a little more frequently. It's been a week since the first one, and we've had two more since then. This is ridiculous, in my opinion. I mean seriously, why is this _my_ fault? I wasn't the one who kidnapped their spouses and tortured them. These people are truly insane.

Matthew and I haven't really been talking to each other much. I think we're so focused on our jobs right now that we're not making time for each other. I feel really bad about not talking to him though. The only thing is, I feel weird approaching him. Ever since he got back, things have been weird. Our relationship feels so strange. He feels so distant. The problem is, I don't know what to do to get things back to where they were.

I'm in my room right now, listening to music and just thinking. I'm listening to a band called One Dimension. It's a little known fact about me that I have a passion for the arts. I've always loved singing, acting, and painting. I remember when I painted with one of my closest friends at this camp I went to. I couldn't believe my parents let me go, but they did...they also let about twenty guards go as well. We would paint in our free time with a few of the other girls in our cabin and just listen to music. I can definitely say that was one of the best bonding moments I've had with any of my friends. I wasn't the princess. I was just April. I miss those days.

I hear a knock on the door.

"Come in." I say, pausing the music.

It's Matthew. "May I join you?" He asks.

"Sure." I say.

He sits down and we just sit there in silence for a while. We keep waiting like that. Neither of us makes a sound. He clears his throat at one point, but he doesn't say anything. I look around the room, desperately trying to find something for us to do. Why have we suddenly run out of things to do? Where's the romance that we had when he got back?

"Um," he finally says.

"Yes?" I say.

"I know that we've been a little distant from each other in the past few days,"

"Yeah."

"And I know things just seem really awkward right now...so I want to spend some time together."

"Okay. When?"

"I thought we could have a date night."

"When, because we have a bunch of meetings with my dad in the next week."

"Well, maybe we could have a date day?"

"But we have Crystal's birthday planning during the day. That's gonna become more extreme when the family starts to arrive tomorrow."

"Well, what do _you_ want to do, April? Because right now it seems like you don't want to spend any time with me."

"No, no, I do! It's just—"

"What? What is it, April? Is it Nat? I can tell something went down while I was gone." His tone gets increasingly louder.

"Matthew, this has nothing to do with Nat." I try to stay calm.

"Are you sure about that? Because it doesn't seem like it."

"Matthew—"

"That's the other thing, why do you call him by a 'cute nickname' while you say my whole name?"

"I just..." That's actually a really good point. Why don't I call him Matt that often?

"Maybe you just need your space right now, and that's fine. But please, just tell me when you do. I'll give you your space, but I need to know that I have your trust."

"I..." I can't find any words. That was intense. How the hell did he do that? _Why_ did he do that?

He embraces me and says, "I'll see you later." He leaves the room.

What just happened?


	8. Chapter 8

**I hate not being able to update. I have volleyball practice every day this week, I just finished _The Book Thief_ for summer reading, I have to read _Brave New World_, and school starts back up for me on Friday. Ugh. I HATE THIS! I want to be able to update more, but I barely have any time to write! I'm so sorry for all of the late updates! Thank you all for your support, even though the updates are so infrequent.**

**PrincessIndia- Yeah, Matthew is being a little harsh...I guess we'll see what happens! Thank you so much for your support!**

**Mhpropp16- Haha, I'm glad this was unexpected for you! Thank you so much!**

**PEETAMELLARKLOVER123- Thank you so much! I'm sorry that this isn't sooner.**

**Kiren- yeah, Connor Franta is pretty dang awesome. I also struggle with auto-correct constantly. Any of my friends will tell you that. Thank you so much!**

**idk123456- I can't tell you who she's going to end up with...mainly because I haven't decided yet. I guess it'll be a surprise for the both of us! Haha, thanks for the review!**

**Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

Crystal's party is today. A lot of our cousins have showed up. Everyone's so excited about the party tonight, including myself. I'm just glad that Crystal has requested for everyone to dress casually.

Matthew and I haven't really talked in the past couple of days. He and I agreed to give each other some space in the next week or so. I think it's good, but I miss him. Things have just gotten really awkward. I feel like I have made so many mistakes, but I don't know how to patch them up. I refuse to go to Mom about any of this, because she's just going to criticize me. She's been doing that a lot lately. I don't really want to talk to Dad about it either, because that'd just feel weird. Maybe I'll talk to Astra. That could work, right?

I need some alone time away from everyone. I don't want to be confined to my room. I can't go to the gardens. That would be the obvious place to go. I decide to go to the roof. There's a great view of Angeles there anyway. I have on dark jeans and a bright pink tank top. My hair is down and straightened. I'm wearing black combat books and the bracelet my parents gave me for my birthday. I am wearing makeup, but it's a little different from what I usually wear. I use darker colors around my eyes to make them pop. I look like my true self, not my princess-self. I wish I could look like this all the time. I get up to the roof and put my hands on the balcony. I look over at the beautiful city and the palace grounds. I know there are guards watching me from somewhere, but this is the most alone I've felt in a while. It feels nice. I suddenly have an urge to sing. I don't know why. It sounds corny, but I just feel like singing. I start singing a song I heard in an old musical once. The musical was called _Wicked_ and was about a witch who went to school and was bullied. The song is called "No Good Deed." It's basically saying that this girl will not do anything to try to please everyone anymore. She's going to act in favor of herself and her love. I belt this out at the top of my lungs. I don't want to contain my emotions right now. At one point, I feel like I'm going to cry, but I don't. I finish singing and just stand there for a while. I turn around to head down and get ready with some of my cousins. The door is standing open and there's someone waiting there: Nat.

I start blushing. My mouth is open, but it can't find any words. _Did people actually hear me sing?_ I think. _That's embarrassing_.

"Uh," he says. I guess he feels the same way. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but—but—"

"I...Did you hear me—"

"Yeah." He cuts me off.

"Oh." I say, looking down.

"No, no no! It was good! It was excellent, actually! I just...didn't expect it. Not from you, anyway."

I give him a look.

"No, no! I don't mean—it's just...I just..." He sighs loudly, giving up on whatever he's trying to say. "Anyway, your mother wants you to come down. I guess you were on your way to do that."

"Yeah..." I say.

We stand there in silence for a while, then I just walk past him downstairs.

_Yikes_, I think. _That was awkward_.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys! I got the chance to update, so I took it! I know I'll have the opportunity tomorrow to update as well, so I'll try to make that happen! Thanks for reading!**

**Kiren- Yeah, it's kinda inevitable. :) thanks for the review!**

**Princess India- Yeah, it's a tough decision, though. :) thanks for the review!**

**It might just be me, but I feel like those were the crappiest responses to reviews ever, and I apologize for that. I'm tired.**

**Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

I forgot how fun it is to have my whole family around. They're so weird and funny. We're getting mani-pedi's right now. I'm getting a dark blue color. It doesn't necessarily match what I usually wear, but I love the color, so I go with it anyway. Crystal is getting her favorite color: hot pink. But not just any hot pint, it has sparkles! That's what my little cousins are freaking out about, at least. Astra is getting a light purple. Madeline is getting a French manicure. Mom is getting clear-coat. She never did like nail polish. Marlee is getting a bright yellow with gold sparkles. Zoë, our friend from The German Federation, is getting a bright green color and detailed yellow flowers. Crystal thinks this is a good idea and is getting detailed white flowers on her nails. I don't think I could sit still for that long. Princess Isabella of Italy is here as well. She's getting a deep red color. It's always interesting to see what everyone ends ip with.

"So, April," Aunt Kenna asks me as a maid puts a peach color on her nails. "How's Matthew doing?"

_Oh shit_. I think. I knew someone was going to ask this, but I never really came up with an answer.

"Um," _Pull it together, April!_ "He's doing well." _Good enough_. "He's doing really well as Prince. Sometimes I think he's better than me at diplomatic decisions." _Especially ones about our relationship_.

"That's nice. I'm glad things are going so well for you two." She says.

_You don't know the half of it_.

It's half an hour later and it's time for mattress surfing! I've loved doing this for so long. I remember my mom finally letting me do this when I was seven at Lance's birthday party. So many people go down just sitting down, or head first, but I'm not like them. Crystal and I go together, to show everyone how it's done. We go standing up. How else would you go mattress _surfing_? We get to the bottom, and a few guards help up off. For some reason, I seem to have sea legs, and I have a hard time walking. I fall into some guards arms with a girly yelp and begin laughing.

"Easy there, your highness." I hear Nat say.

I look up and see him, smiling as he helps me up. I smile back at him and get up. "Thank you, Officer Caprio." I say.

"Anytime." He says, still smiling.

I walk away to get back into line. As I get to the top, I see Matthew coming up the stairs.

"Matthew!" I call down. He looks up. "Hurry! Let's go down together!" I say.

"Alright!" He calls back.

He rushes up to meet me in line.

"Aww," Crystal, Astra, and Zoë tease.

"Jealous." I say, hugging Matthew. He puts his arm around me.

Matthew and I go down together. I lose my balance at one point and fall down. I grab his arm as I fall and drag him with me. We both sit on the mattress together, laughing for the rest of the way down. We look up once we're at the bottom, and we see Mom and Dad going down together. Everyone starts laughing, cheering and applauding. It's nice to see them going down without one of their kids. I haven't seen them do this in a while.

Everyone continues mattress surfing for about another hour, and then we go to dinner. After that, we sit around while Crystal opens presents. The party finally ends at around eleven-thirty, since everyone stays to talk for a while. Once everything's done, I stay to help clean up. I do this after a lot of my siblings' parties. I start sweeping confetti, ribbon, and other things that were left on the floor.

"That's something you don't usually see." I hear a voice say.

I look up to see Nat, yet again. "What?"

"A princess doing physical labor." He replies.

"Do I _look_ like your typical princess?" I give him a look.

He smiles. "You have a point there."

I smile back and then continue sweeping.

"Where's the Prince?" He asks.

"Which one?" I ask.

"The one you're married to." He gives me a look as if to say, _Which other Prince would I ask about?_

"He had a headache and left the party early." I respond casually.

"Oh." He says. I don't know what answer he was expecting. Maybe something like, "He flew to France to kick Will's ass"?

"Yeah." I say. I mean, what else should I say?

I finish sweeping the floor, and Nat brings the dustpan over.

"Thanks," I say.

"Mhm." He says, holding it still.

I sweep all of the trash into the dustpan.

He picks it up after I'm finished and throws it into the trash can.

"Thanks for your help." I say.

"Anytime." He says.

We stand there in awkward silence, yet again. That seems to be our thing.

"Well," I finally say. "I think I'm going to bed."

"May I walk you to your room?" He asks.

I pause. "Uh...sure." I say.

We walk up to my room without saying a word to each other. I'm relieved when we finally reach my room.

"Well," I say. "Thanks."

"Your welcome." He bows. "Goodnight, your highness."

"Goodnight, Officer Caprio." I say. Before I can walk in my room, Nat takes my hand and kisses it gently.

I stand there, shell-shocked.

"Goodnight." He says. He turns on his heel and walks away.

I turn on my heel and walk into my door. _Open the door, you idiot!_ I think. I find the handle and open the door. I close it behind me and stand the for a while.

_What happened?_


	10. Chapter 10

**Yay! New update! It feels so good updating this fast! Thanks you all so much for reading!**

**NalissaPatali- Hmmm, we'll see what happens! There's a little of that in this chapter! Thanks for the review!**

**Mhpropp16- I'm glad you have a strong opinion about the characters! We'll see how it turns out with the two of them! Thanks for the review!**

**Kiren- yikes indeed. Haha, I feel like I say yikes a lot. Maybe it has to do with my love for Pitch Perfect. Idk. :) Thanks for the review!**

**Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

Matthew and I have at least started talking again. We've been taking walks in the garden, and I'll say, it's been really nice to have him back. I think we just hit a rough patch. It was inevitable. It happens in every relationship, and it was time for it to happen in ours. It just really sucks when it does happen.

We have no new updates on the idiots. They've gone into hiding and aren't communicating with anyone. I just want this to be over! Why can't they just come out of hiding and just take their punishment? I mean, seriously. They know it's coming. I guess that's why they're in hiding.

It's 1:00 am. I should be asleep, but I'm just lying in bed, wide awake. I don't know why I can't sleep. I suddenly feel hot. I throw the covers off, expecting that to help, but it's not working. My heart starts to race as well. _What's happening?_ I think. I try to calm down, but nothing's working. It feels harder to breathe than before. _Calm down, April. _Nothing's working. I run to the bathroom and splash some water on my face. That doesn't help, either. _Calm down!_ I get some water in my hands and drink some of it. That doesn't help either. My heart starts beating even faster and it's now even harder to breathe. I fan myself with my hands, trying to cool myself down as well as calm myself down. None of this is working. I throw the balcony doors open and try to breathe, but that's not working, either. I don't know what to do. I collapse where I am and start crying. I don't feel like I can talk at all, so I just start screaming. After about a minute, a someone bursts in. Nat. Gee, he's always in the right place at the right time, huh?

"April!" He rushes over to me. Another guard follows him. He bends down beside me and puts his hand on my shoulder. "April, calm down. Everything's okay."

I continue bawling. I can't calm down.

He turns to the other guard. "Baker, go get Prince Matthew. Tell him it's an emergency. Go get one of her parents as well."

"Yes sir." The Officer Baker replies.

Nat stays right next to me, eventually embracing me to try and calm me down.

"It's okay," he soothes. "Everything's going to be just fine."

I seriously can't stop crying. _Get a grip, April!_

Dad is the first person to come racing in.

"April!" He runs over.

Nat let's go of the embrace and Dad takes over.

"She's not responding, sir. She hasn't talked since I got here. The crying has slowed a bit, but other than that, she doesn't seem to be calming down much." Nat says.

"Thank you, Nat." Dad says.

"Any time. I'll go look for the Prince." Nat says.

"That won't be necessary." Dad says. "We already have a few guards looking."

_Big help, Dad_.

"Alright, where would you like me to go?" Nat asks.

"You're fine here." Dad says.

_Ughhhhh._

"Shh," Dad calms. I realize I haven't stopped crying at all. I'm still hyperventilating too. "It's okay. It's okay."

After a few minutes, Matthew finally runs in.

"April!" He says. _Oh, that's original_. "I'm so sorry! I was in the library!" He runs over and hugs me. Dad let's go of his embrace. "What happened?" Matthew asks.

"We're not sure," Nat begins. "I heard screaming, and I found her in here, collapsed on the ground where she is now."

"I'm so sorry I couldn't get here earlier." Matthew apologizes. He waits a few seconds, and then turns to Dad. "Maxon, why isn't she responding?"

"We think she might be in shock. I think this might be an anxiety attack." Dad responds.

"Is there anything we can do?" Matthew asks.

"In situations like this, we just have to wait until it's over." Nat responds.

"Well, I don't _want_ to wait. April's in pain, and she's miserable. Isn't their anything we can do? I don't want to see her suffer like this anymore." Matthew grits his teeth as he says this.

"Matthew, I'm afraid all we can do is comfort her until it's over." Dad says.

They talk like I'm in a coma or something. I can still hear them!

Mom suddenly walks in, much to my surprise. I didn't really see that coming. She bends down next to me.

"Here, honey," she says calmly. She hold out a glass of water. "Drink this. It'll help."

I take the glass from her, my hand shaking, and I bring the cold water to my lips. I drink the whole glass in about thirty seconds.

"There you go." She takes the glass from me. I've stopped crying now. I'm still breathing a little shakily, but I've improved a lot. She and Matthew help me up, and then she says, "Alright, gentlemen, I think I can take it from here." She puts her arm around me and walks me to the bathroom.

"Are you sure you don't need anything?" Dad asks.

"Yes, I've got this, Maxon." Mom says. The boys leave, a little hesitantly, I might add. Mom sits me down on the closed toilet seat. She wets a washcloth and gently wipes my face with it. I remember her doing this for me when I had nightmares as a kid. After she's done wiping my face, she looks down at it. She chuckles to herself. "You never could get all of you makeup. I guess some things never change." She lays the rag out to dry, and helps me up again. She helps me change into a new nightgown, since my other one is a little sweaty. She even tucks me in to bed. She sits by my bed and strokes my hair. I fall asleep with her still doing this.


	11. Chapter 11

**Yayyy! Update! I have a few minutes, so I decided to update! Thank you so much for reading and for all of your support!**

**going for the win- Awwww indeed! :) Thanks for the review!**

**PrincessIndia- I like updating sooner too! :) As for Nat, we'll just see what happens! I'm glad you like the story, and thanks for the review!**

**PEETAMELLARKLOVER123- I'm glad you liked the chapter! I did too. Yeah, I was kinda sick of her going to the hospital. April's not the type of girl who likes it either. As for Matthew, we'll see what happens there. Thanks for the review!**

**Mhpropp16- thank you so much! I'm so glad you like my story! I think it's funny how you think Matthew's annoying. :) thanks for the review!**

**Kiren- hmmmm, we'll see what happens! Haha, thanks for the review!**

**I'm sorry if these reviews sound the same, but I don't want to give anything away! Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

Mom and Dad are having me see a therapist. They're not on staff at the palace. They're actually a guidance counselor at the local university. I think they could help me. I hope they can help me. They're coming at two this afternoon. Matthew offered to sit with me, but I told him this is something I need to do on my own.

I pace back and forth in the Women's room. We decided this would be the best place since it has comfortable furniture, but it's still formal, and it's a smaller room, but it's still a pretty big room. I begin biting my nails. I never bite my nails. I hate biting my nails, actually. It just grosses me out. That's how nervous I am. I'm biting my nails. I look at the clock. _1:57_, it reads. He still has three minutes to get here. I try to sit down, but that doesn't help anything. It actually makes things worse. A maid left a glass of water in here, so I begin sipping that. I continue pacing back and forth. I look at the clock again. It's been a minute. I sigh. I just want this to be over with. I want this all to be over. I just want things to be normal. I guess that doesn't usually happen when you're a princess, though. It's now 1:59. My heart is pounding in my chest. _Please hurry,_ I think. _Please, please, please_,

The door finally opens just as the clock gets to 2:00. A young woman with brown hair, glasses, a pant-suit, and a notebook walks in. She can't be older than twenty-four.

"Hello, April," she says, closing the door. "I hope it's okay for me to call you April. Your parents said that would be okay."

"Um, yes. That's fine." I say.

She holds out her hand for me to shake. "I'm Dr. Travis."

I stare for a second, then I finally shake her hand. "You—You're Dr. Travis?" I ask.

"Yes," she laughs a bit. "I know, you didn't think I was going to be a woman. Or this young."

"Well, it is a bit unusual. Not that it's a bad thing!"

"It's okay, April, you can relax. Please, sit down." She motions for me to sit.

I sit down, and we sit there quietly for a minute.

"So," she finally says. "Why do you think you're parents wanted you to see me?"

"Well, I kind of had a breakdown a few days ago. I think they're afraid it's going to happen again. Frankly, I am too." I respond.

"What do you think triggered this breakdown?"

"Stress. Definitely stress. There's been a lot of tension ever since my husband was kidnapped. Things have only gotten worse since he came back."

"So, what seems to be making it worse?"

I shrug.

"Come on, I'm sure you can think of something." She urges.

I sigh. "It's just...hard. It's hard knowing that you've hurt so many people to the extent that they want to go to war. It's hard trying to defend your country from psychos like them. It's hard coming up with a solution for so many problems."

"I see. Anything else? Is there anything else that could be triggering this?"

I think. _Do I really want to tell her about Nat?_ "Well, it's been harder since my younger brother, Nathan, went on the mission. He's still receiving intensive care in the hospital wing. I haven't seen him since the rescue..."

After a few moments, she finally says, "Good. Did it feel better to let all of that out?"

I nod.

"Good. Anything else you want to tell me before we continue?"

I think. I might as well just tell her. "Well, there's one other thing..." I trail off.

"Go ahead. April, don't be afraid to tell me anything. I strongly believe in doctor-patient confidentiality. Anything said in this room stays in this room." She says in such a comforting way, I truly believe I can tell her.

"Alright," I sigh. "Ever since Matthew went missing, there's been...another person I've gotten close to. I met him in Calgary. He's been so nice to me and so caring. He's always been supportive and helpful. He always knows how to cheer me up. But, the problem is..." I can't even say it.

"I see. I sense a little love triangle."

I nod and shrug slightly. "The problem is, I'm married. I still love Matthew, and I don't want to betray him."

"I completely understand." She shifts a little bit in her seat. "I'm sorry, but I can't make this decision for you. You'll have to make it on your own. But I think I can help with the other things."

We spend the next hour doing exercises to help ease my stress a little. I feel much better by the time I'm done. She's also prescribing some medicine for me to help my anxiety. As she said before a lot of these decisions are just up to me, but there are people that will help me. I feel much more confident about what I'm doing now. I just need the right help.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys! I got another chance to update! Can we try to get 50 reviews soon? I hate to be that writer who wants to see how many reviews they can get, but I**** really think you guys can do it! Thanks so much for reading!**

**PrincessIndia- Love triangles actually get on my nerves too, but they're so addicting! :) Thanks for the review!**

**Mhpropp16- Thanks so much! I'm so glad you have so many opinions on my story! Thanks for the review!**

**PEETAMELLARKLOVER123- I'm glad you liked the chapter! Thanks for the review!**

**going for the win- yeah, she needed that. I hate seeing people who have a problem that needs solving and they don't get help. Thanks for the review!**

**Kiren- I'm actually glad you pointed that out. I usually write these chapters late at night, so I'm usually exhausted and don't catch those errors. I'll try not to make mistakes like that again! They piss me off too, so now I feel like a hypocrite! Thanks for the review!**

**Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

Dr. Travis put me on some medication to help with depression and anxiety. I can already feel the difference. I feel so much less overwhelmed than before. She still comes for appointments a few times a week. It's been a week since my first appointment. I saw her three days in a row when we first started. Now I see her about two or three times a week. It seems like a lot, but it really helps. I can only imagine how much money Mom and Dad are paying her. I think if it was anyone else, they'd be annoyed with my problems by now, but keep doing it for the money. I don't think Dr. Travis is like that. She always seems to be so open to all of my problems. She must have a real passion for this profession. It's always so nice to see someone enjoying their work. I see it in Mom and Dad.

I've mainly been focusing on my therapy, so I haven't talked with Matthew or Nat. There haven't been rebel attacks within the last week. It's kind of making me on-edge. I feel like something might happen soon, but I don't know what it is.

One of the things Dr. Travis recommended to me was to do art so I can try to express my feelings. I'm sitting on a bench in the gardens painting with water colors. A lot of people don't like watercolor because it's hard to control, but I like it. I'm usually too exact, but with watercolor, I feel like I can be less exact. I'm painting a sketch I drew a while ago of a rose. I'm the kind of person where I need to sketch something first before I paint it. I paint the background first. Then I move on to the grass. Then I paint the stem and the leaves, and finally: the petals.

"That's beautiful." I hear a voice from behind me. Nat. Again. Who else would it be?

"Oh, um, thanks." I say. I turn around and go back to painting.

Nat sits down on the bench next to me. "I've always wanted to learn how to paint, but never learned how."

"I don't think you really need to know _how_ to paint. You just kind of do it. It comes to you." I say, not taking my eyes off of the page.

"Hmm, I like that." He says. "The part about how it comes to you. That's pretty deep."

"Thanks," I turn around. "I'm a deep person." I say with sarcasm.

He laughs slightly.

I sit there for a while, just painting, and then I stop and look at him. "I have a really weird question for you, and you're probably going to think this is stupid and that I'm being ridiculous. But I feel like I have to ask."

"Okay." This doesn't phase him at all.

I sigh. "Why are _you_ always the one guarding me? Why does it feel like there are never any guards looking after me, just you?"

He smiles. "I thought you'd ask me this eventually." He sits up so his face is about a foot away from mine. "Your parents hired me as a special guard. They wanted me to look after you because they knew your life was about to get harder. They thought I'd be trustworthy, but they also knew that I'd gotten to know you."

"So...they basically hired you to be my watchful friend."

"Well when you out it that way it sounds bad!" He winks.

I giggle slightly. "I don't necessarily mean that as a bad thing, I just—"

"I know, I know, it's kind of cheap for your parents to do this. It makes things awkward, doesn't it?"

I look down. I don't want to hurt his feelings.

He puts his hand on my shoulder. "Hey," he says. "I get it. This doesn't make things easier on you."

"Nat, I—"

"It okay. You're not hurting my feelings..." He pauses. "I'd understand if you just want me to go home or if you wanted me to guard someone else. I'd be perfectly happy with either of those. Just tell me what you want."

I look up at him. "Nat, I don't want you to leave."

"You don't?" He asks suspiciously.

"Of course not. You're a wonderful person, and I'm glad to have you as my guard. I don't really want anyone else to be."

"Are you sure?"

I nod.

"Alright."

We sit there in silence for a while, and the he leans in slightly. Before he can do anything, sirens go off. Another rebel attack.


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm so sorry for the infrequent updates. Ever since school started, I haven't really had time to update. I'm going to update twice tonight to make up for it though! Thank you all so much for reading!**

**Kiren- I hope you're not dead! :) and I'm sorry for being mean...kind of...Ghanks for the review!**

**Mhpropp16- I'm glad you liked it! Sorry for the late update! Hopefully you'll like this chapter too! Thank you so much for the review!**

**PrincessIndia- I have to drive people crazy: It's in my contract! ;) Thanks for the review!**

**going for the win- He wasn't in that chapter, but he's in this one! Whoops, spoiler! :) Thanks for the review!**

**Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

Nat helps me up and rushes me towards the safe room. He and I are holding hands as we run down the hallway.

"Hurry, April!" He urges as we keep running. I run as fast as I can, but I'm no match for him. I haven't run like this since I was little. I slip at one point and fall down.

Nat bends down and frantically asks, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I assure him. He helps me up and we keep going.

We finally reach the safe room and everyone runs up to us when we walk in.

"Are you alright?" Mom asks us.

"What took you so long?" Dad asks.

"We're fine, Dad." I assure him.

"What happened?" Matthew asks, putting his arm around me.

"I slipped and fell at one point, so that slowed us down a bit." I explain.

"Also, we were coming from outside." Nat says.

"Well we're glad you're safe." Mom says.

"Thanks." I say.

"Nat, why don't we look at the report?" Dad asks. He and Nat go deal with security and the rest of us go sit down.

It's three hours later, and we're still in the safe room. Matthew is reading a book, Crystal is playing cards with Mom and Sarah. Nathan is still in the hospital, and I'm just hoping he's safe. Lance walks over and sits next to me.

"Hey, kiddo." He says.

"Hey." I say.

"How are you doing?" He asks.

"Oh, I've been better." I respond.

He laughs. "Me too."

"How's Sarah?"

"She's fine. She's about ready to be done with pregnancy."

"She still has four months left, right?"

"Yeah. It seems like it should be sooner."

"She looks like she's about to pop." I say.

"Just imagine what she'll look like in four months!" He says.

I laugh. "No kidding."

We sit there for a while, then he says, "I remember the attacks when we were little."

"Me too." I say.

"They became so routine. At some points, I wouldn't even need a guard to escort me."

"I remember you getting me one time before any guard came."

"Yeah," he sighs. "I don't want that to happen again."

"You think I _do_?"

"No, I was just stating my thoughts. I know I can't think think for you."

"Got that right!" He and I laugh.

"So, how are things going with you?" He asks.

"Fine, I guess." I reply with a shrug.

"Everything okay with you and Matthew?"

Rough subject there, Lance. "Yeah, I guess. We've hit a bit of a rough patch."

"Ah. That'll happen."

"Yay."

He smiles. "I bet you'll get over it. How's Nat adapting to the palace?"

"He's doing well." I pipe up. "He's been a really good guard. He always knows what he's doing and he does his job with confidence."

Lance starts laughing a little. He tries to contain it, but he's not doing such a good job.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing, nothing." He says, waving it away.

"It doesn't seem like nothing." I raise my eyebrows.

"Nothing, I'll tell you later." He says.

"Okay." I wait a few seconds. "It's later!"

He gives me a look. "I'll tell you when we're not in a safe room with about ten other people."

I smile. "Okay."

We're released from the safe rooms at nine o'clock at night. The walls are vandalized with the same thing, _BAD DECISION_. This is written over and over again in mud, paint, dirt, blood, it's even been arranged in debris on the floor. This sure makes me feel good about what's to come.


	14. Chapter 14

Lance and I are up on the roof talking. We've been sharing stories for the past half hour, but I'm ready to change subjects.

"Lance, what were you laughing about in the safe room?" I finally ask.

He sighs. "I knew you were going to ask about this at some point." He sits up. It seems like he's having trouble finding the right words. "It's just...It seems like you're kind of developing a crush on someone."

"Who?" I ask, trying to stay innocent and oblivious.

"I think you know who, April." He raises an eyebrow.

I look down.

"Do you love Nat?" He asks.

"I..." I trail off. "That's the thing: I'm not sure. I thought I was in love with Matthew, but recently, that has been becoming more difficult to convince myself."

"Well what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Unfortunately, I start crying. "I don't know what to do, Lance." He wraps his arms around me. "I have a country who believes that The Selection is where I found my soulmate. I thought that's what would happen. It happened to Mom and Dad. But it just...didn't happen to me. I thought it did. I thought I had found my soulmate. Then I met Nat and everything changed."

I sob into his shoulder for a while, and then he says, "Hey, remember when I was having _my_ Selection?" I look up at him. "I was so convinced that Aria was the one for me. Heck, I was about to propose. I was going to ask her to marry me in a few weeks, but then I met Sarah. I realized that I was just trying to convince myself that The Selection worked for me, when in reality: it didn't. Sarah is the love of my life and I'm thankful that I realized that. Do you feel that with Nat?"

I pause. "I don't know. I still have feelings for Matthew, but I also have feelings for Nat. I feel like I'm being pulled in both directions and the strain is killing me. I know that this sounds so clichéd, but this is truly how I feel."

Lance looks at me for a minute. "April, call me crazy, but I think you may be holding back. I think you're afraid of hurting anyone, so you're not admitting your true feelings. Is that how you feel?" He asks.

I think for a minute.

"April, be honest." He urges.

"I—" before I can answer, a guard opens the door to the roof.

"Your majesties, the King wishes for you to come to his office immediately. It's about the Prince of Swendway."


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey guys. Sorry it's been eons since my last update, but I've been busy, which has been fun, but tiring and I haven't had much writing time. Is it sad that I've been in school for like 3 weeks and I'm already pissed off about a grade I got? Idk. I would've updated yesterday, but I had an audition, and I couldn't think straight when I was waiting for news. Final verdict: I didn't have to go to callbacks, but I'm not cut, but I'm not in. I'm just as confused as you are. :) Thanks so much for reading! I'm so sorry if this chapter isn't as good, but I just wanted to write something and this was good enough, so...Yeah.**

**Mhpropp16- Thank you, thank you, thank you! That means so much! Thanks for the review! (Wow, that was a lot of thanks:)**

**going for the win- is it weird that I imagined you saying that like Captain Hook in the live-action Peter Pan? (iron hook brought up to his face) "He's baack!" :) thanks for the review!**

**Kiren- You do the same thing to me! #payback! I swear I don't use that many #'s in real life. Haha. Thanks for the review!**

**enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

"He killed him?" I ask.

"Yes," Dad responds. "Christopher shot William last night because he wasn't following orders."

"I just can't believe he's _this_ desperate." Matthew says.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures." Lance says.

"Still, he's _this_ desperate?" I say.

"People will do anything when it comes to love." Mom says. She looks at Dad with a sparkle in her eye. He does the same.

"Well, what's our next move?" Matthew asks.

"That's what we need to figure out." Nat says.

"How do we even approach something like this?" I ask.

"We don't know," Nat says. "That's why we're here."

"No kidding," I say sarcastically. "Thanks so much for that."

"Your welcome." Nat winks at me and I blush.

"Well, we can't approach this violently," Mom starts, but before she can say anything else, the rebel alarm goes off. As usual, we are herded into a safe room. However, when we enter the safe room, someone is already in there: Kyle.

The doors shut behind us. Three guards run up to him and pin his arms. One guard pats him down while the other two hold him against the wall.

"No weapons, your highness." One of the guards says to Dad.

"Thank you, Officer Dillon." Dad says. _Damn it! _I think. _Why couldn't I remember his name?_

"What the hell are you doing here, Kyle?" I scream at him.

"April, stay calm." Mom warns.

"I just needed to talk to you. Especially you, April." He says.

"About what? What could you possibly want to say? 'I'm declaring war on you?'" I say, my arms crossed.

"No, I'm serious. It's about Chris."

I pause for a moment. "Keep talking." I say.

"April, I don't want to do this anymore." He admits.

"Why did you want to do this in the first place?"

"I was hurt. Chris seemed to share the same feelings, so I trusted him. But I don't anymore. You don't understand how crazy he is."

"He's been attacking my home because he loves me but I don't love him. He's gathering an army to help him. I think I understand."

"April, you really don't."

I pause. "What do you mean?" I take a few steps closer to him.

"He's insane. Like he has serious issues. He keeps making plans to kidnap people. You don't want to know what he wants to do once he gets ahold of you. I don't want to repeat it either. That's why he killed William. He didn't think what Chris was doing was right. Chris became enraged and shot him because William was going to spread the news. I couldn't believe that I actually got away from him. If he finds me, I don't know what he'll do. But I don't want to do this anymore. I've moved on."

"Why did you come here?" Nat asks.

"Where else was I supposed to go? My parents don't trust me, the Swendish King and Queen wouldn't trust me. They can't believe anything negative said about their son. This was the only place I could go."

I wait for a minute. "I still don't know if I can trust you."

"Fine, don't trust me. See what happens then."

He has a point.

"What do you want exactly, Kyle?" Lance asks.

Kyle sighs. "I want to see Chris either dead, or locked up in a mental facility."

_Don't we all?_

"April, please believe me. I'm done with helping him. I know that you don't love me. I've moved on. Please just believe me. I don't want you to get hurt."

That sounds too familiar.

I wait for a while. I look to Dad. He has a look on his face as if to say, "I'd trust him if I were you." I look to Mom and her expression says the same. Nat looks like he's trying to be supportive. Matthew looks like he wants to kick Kyle where it hurts. Lance looks suspicious. Crystal looks stunned. Nathan's still in the hospital. Sarah looks like she's going to explode in a few months.

"Okay." I finally say. I hope this is the right decision.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey guys. It's 2:45 am where I live right now, and I'm not feeling great. I have a sore throat and I'm so frickin, stuffed up. I slept for about three hours then woke up again. I'm pretty sure I have strep throat because if I get sick, it's usually strep. I even had my tonsils out a few years ago, and I still get it almost every time I get sick. For the past hour or so, I've been listening to music and sucking on cough drops. So naturally, I thought I'd update! This actually has made me feel better. Sometimes silly things like this do that. Thank you all so much for reading! I'm so sorry for the infrequent updates. School kinda does that, and I hate that it does. :(**

**Kiren- Haha, I have a feeling we'll never be even. We're always going to upset each other with some sort of plot twist. :) Thanks for the review!**

**Mhpropp16- I'm so glad you like my story! It really means a lot! Thanks for the review!**

**Guest- I'm glad you like it! Here's another update for you! Thanks for the review!**

**enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt.**

Kyle has left the palace. He was still uneasy about leaving, so we sent a few guards with him. We called his parents and made sure everything was patched up with them. I think his mother, Daphne, was happy to have him back and happy that we took care of him for a bit. Kyle called us when he got home, so we know he's okay.

We don't have any news from Chris. I guess he's on his own now, as far as accomplices. I just have a feeling that things will get better very soon.

Nat and I have been hanging out a bit in the afternoon. We've just talked a little bit about random things, mainly. I found out that his birthday is next week. I want to figure out something special to do. He said he doesn't want anything big, so a party is out. He also doesn't want us to fly in any relatives, but he didn't say why. I think I know something I can do, but it'll take me a few days to do.

I'm reading a book called _The Book Thief_. I really like it, but it's pretty depressing. After a while, I hear a knock on my door.

"Come in." I say.

Matthew walks in. It doesn't look like it's urgent, but it does look like he's very serious.

"Hey," I say, putting my book down. "How are you?"

"I'm alright, but I wanted to ask you something." He says.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Well, you know I haven't seen my parents in a while."

"Yeah. But you decided that they shouldn't live at the palace, right?"

"Right. The thing is, though, I...I miss home." I can see his eyes tearing up the slightest bit.

I take his hand. "Let me guess, you want to visit them?"

"Yeah," he sighs. "I really do."

I smile. "Alright. When do you want to go?"

"I was thinking next week."

_Next week_, I think. _Nat's birthday_. "I think we can make that work." I finally say.

He smiles and squeezes my hand. "Great," he leans over and kisses my cheek. "Thank you."

"Why are you thanking _me_?" I ask with a laugh.

"Well, you didn't ask questions, you just kind of let me do my thing." He says.

"Well I don't want you to feel trapped. I love you."

"I love you too." He gives me one last kiss and walks out.


	17. Chapter 17

**Okay, I can't sleep again. I'm still sick. I have to get up at 6:15 tomorrow morning. This kind of sucks. Oh well. Here's another update! **

**Just a short story: So I went to the doctor yesterday. First of all, we made an appointment for 11. We didn't get in to actually see the doctor until 1:30 because they were having computer problems. Then, they did the strep test which went horribly because I have a strong gag reflex and the lady wasn't the gentlest person in the world. Then, we waited another 30 minutes to see the doctor who had to ask which patient I was, asked my mom what her relationship to me was, and started suggesting meds for me to take before he knew if the strep test was positive or negative yet. He also didn't seem to believe me when I told him that I usually get strep (Keep in mind, he still didn't have the test results yet). I was finally diagnosed with a cold, which is supposed to last for another 6 days or so. I had to take about three or four different types of meds today to help two symptoms: drainage and a sore throat. I also had to stand outside for three hours today to try to raise money for my volleyball team and we have to go back tomorrow (or this) morning to clean up after everyone who trashes the place (it was for a football game, we sold parking spaces). So yeah. That was a saga in itself!**

**Thank you all so much for reading! Thank you for the nice messages in the reviews as well! They really warmed my heart despite the fact I had a crappy doctor.**

**theoneforever- ugh! The struggle of having strep! Yeah, I had my tonsils out in fifth grade. They were nasty and were so big that they were almost touching when I wasn't sick or anything. Medical problems are weird. :) Thanks for the review!**

**Mhpropp16- Thank you so much! I'm so glad you like the story!**

**Kiren- Oh ship names. They're so entertaining. :) Thanks so much for the review!**

**enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

Matthew left today. I'm glad that he gets to see his family. I don't really know what it's like not to be with my family 24/7. I'd be pretty lonely, I know that much. I'm also glad he came to me and didn't keep it from me for long. That's the thing about Matthew, he doesn't really keep secrets. Me...I'm working on it.

I'm working on Nat's birthday present. I really think he's going to like it. His birthday is tomorrow, but I'm so close to finishing. For the past few days, all I've done is worked on his present. I can't wait to see his face when I give it to him. I think this is the best gift I could give him.

I take a break and take a walk in the gardens for a while. It's so hot out today, but I don't really care. Most days I would, but today is just one of those days where I just feel like being outside. I smell the flowers, touch the water in the fountains, I even take my shoes off to feel the grass under my feet. It rained yesterday, so everything smells fresh. Today is also one of those days where I don't have to be a princess, so I'm wearing cut-offs, a simple black tank-top, my hair is down, I don't have makeup on, and I am carrying the black sandals I had on. It feels so natural, so _me_. I love days like this. I don't get to enjoy them a lot, so I soak them up when I do.

I finally finish Nat's present at 10:00 pm. I'm exhausted, but I'm so proud of it. I take a picture of it with one of Dad's cameras. I can't stop thinking, _Nat is going to absolutely love this_. I put the camera in a drawer. I'll develop it later. I get ready to go to bed. Nat's present is by my bed, on the side of the room where the door isn't to be sure that no one sees it. I finish getting ready, and I settle in to go to sleep. I'm almost asleep when I hear the rebel alarm go off. I get out of bed, and Nat bursts in, surprised to see me up.

"Just let me get my shoes." I say. I slip into a pair of shoes that are comfortable, but I can still run in them. Then we race down the hall to go to the safe room. We arrive safely, and I take one of the cots and go to sleep.

It's three am when I am awakened by Dad.

"April," he says gently. "April, it's time to go back up."

"Is the attack over?" I ask sleepily.

"Yes. Now come on, let's get you to bed." He helps me up and wraps an arm around me to lead me back to my room. Once I'm there, I climb back into bed and go to sleep.

I wake up the next morning and get ready to go to breakfast. I take a shower, do my makeup, put on a light blue day dress, some three-inch heels, and leave my hair down. Just before I'm out the door, I remember to get Nat's present. I go to the other side of my bed to get it, but it's not there. I check under my bed, in the drawers, everywhere. Nat's present is nowhere to be found.


	18. Chapter 18

**It's 2:20. I still can't sleep. Here's another chapter.**

**Kiren- Anytime! ;) Thanks for reviewing!**

**enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

I've looked around my room about ten times now. Nothing. I can't find it anywhere. Then I remember something. _The camera_. I look in my drawer, and the camera is still there. I almost start crying in relief. At least I have something now.

I've spent about an hour looking for his present, so I'm late for breakfast. I decide to have Paige bring me some coffee and a croissant. I'm not a fan of black coffee. I'm one of those people who has to load it up with a bunch of sugar and crap. But when I do that, I love it. I know that kind of defeats the purpose of coffee, but I don't care. It tastes good to me.

It's now time for me to go down to lunch. I take the camera with me, and I head downstairs. Lunch is pretty uneventful. We have grilled-chicken Caesar salads with penne pasta mixed in. I love it so much. It tastes like heaven. I remember eating this with some of my friends in my early teenage years. In the middle of lunch, Dad announces that there' seen a development in the Chris situation.

"According to one of our spies, Christopher is losing supporters fast. Just this week, he's lost one-thousand supporters." Dad announces. "We'll see how this develops later."

Well, that's good news I guess.

I go up to Nat after lunch.

"Hi, birthday boy." I say to him.

He smiles. "Hi Nosey."

"Okay, so I had something to give you—"

"You don't have to give me anything." He interrupts.

"Shut up and let me explain." I say.

He smiles even wider. "Okay, continue."

"So, I had something for you, but after the rebel attack, it was gone."

His jaw drops slightly. Even he can't contain the shock.

"However," I hold up a finger. "I had taken a picture of it before it was stolen. I'm going to get it developed today."

"April, you don't have to do that." He says.

"Too bad." I say. "I just wanted to let you know that it's coming, it'll just be a little late."

He sighs. "Okay."

I sigh dramatically/sarcastically. "Oh what a burden. To receive a birthday present!" I say.

He laughs. "You are very persistent! You know that, right?"

"Of course! I get it from my parents!" I say.

I finish up developing the picture and put it in a decorative box to give to Nat. I find him on the roof. I go up to him, tap on his shoulder, and hand the gift to him.

"You didn't have to do this." He reminds me.

"We've been over this before. Just open it." I say.

He gives me a look, then finally opens it up. He looks at the picture for a while, then finally says, "April, I love it so much."

I smile. The picture was of a painting of him in the gardens. I had stolen Dad's camera one day and got a candid shot of him walking around. He's wearing a pair of jeans and a gray t-shirt. I painted myself in the picture too. I'm taking the picture of him.

He looks up from the picture after a few moments and embraces me. I hug him back, and we just stay like that for a while. He finally loosens his embrace and stares at me for a while. I stare back too. After a while, we lean in until our lips meet. I can't help but think that to is just so right. He makes me feel so warm inside and out. After a while, I finally realize what I have done and I pull away slowly. He looks just as confused as I feel. We both realize the mistake we've just made. I wish that I could enjoy this moment, but I can't. _What have I just done?_

"Uh," I say intelligently.

"Um," he says, concerned.

"I-I..." I try to talk, but words won't come out. It's just unintelligent blabber-mouth talk.

"I'm so sorry," He finally says. "This was all my fault."

"Nat, I—"

"No, no, this has gone on for too long. This is my fault, and I will take full credit for it." He turns and starts to leave.

"What do you mean, take full credit?" I call after him.

He pauses, and turns back to face me. "I need to leave the palace."


	19. Chapter 19

**Okay, I'm going to be honest here: I feel like crap. I'm getting over my cold, but I have a really bad stomach ache right now. It feels like a sharp feeling in my upper stomach. I'm also really tired. I've also been feeling kinda depressed lately (but I swear I'm not going to let that get to me). It just kinda sucks to be me right now! *laughs weakly* Enthusiasm is hard right now.**

**Thank you all so much for reading and for your support! (It's not hard to be enthusiastic about this!) I'm sorry that this is a short chapter, but I felt like writing something and I felt like this was all I could write for this chapter. Leave a comment (I have a feeling a lot of you will want to ;)!**

**Kiren- haha, I do it to annoy you. ;) Thanks for the review!**

**Mhpropp16- it seems like you're trying to tell me something. Do you want Nat back or naw? ;) haha. Thanks for the review!**

**PrincessIndia- the best part about this review was you stated a strong opinion, and then followed it with "...I think." XD Thanks for the review!**

**enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

This is my first thought, _No_. This is my second and third thought, _No. No_! How could he blame himself for this? If anything, this is all my fault. How can I fix this, though? He's going to tell my dad. Dad's going to know. I have to stop him. I throw the door open, re-entering the palace from the roof. I run as fast as I can down the hall. I skip about three steps at a time as I run down the stairs. I slip a few times, but I don't stop reading. I run towards Dad's office. My legs burn like crazy at this point. My side feels like it's going to explode. I just ran down three stories of stairs and two extremely long hallways. It doesn't help that I don't do this often, either. I see Nat getting close to Dad's office. He's about twenty meters away from telling him. I sprint as fast as I can, and I eventually crash into him. We stumble over and he eventually falls, dragging me with him.

"April!" He snaps. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Nat, you can't do this!" I say, pinning his arms to the ground as I sit on top of him.

"Yes, I can! This is my fault. I've committed treason, and I deserve to be punished."

"No, you don't! This is in no way your fault! If it's anyone's fault, it's mine! Please don't do this!" I beg him.

"April, will you please let me make my own decisions?" He struggles a bit, but I put all my strength into it and I keep him pinned.

"Nat, you don't deserve this. You know you'll be sent to jail or worse. I can't let you do this."

"Who says?"

"I do." I say confidently. "Not as the princess, but as a person who truly cares about you. I don't doubt that you'd go through with this for me, but please don't try to prove it." At this point, I'm desperate. I just can't let him do this.

"April, I don't want to make this worse for you. You have a public image to maintain. If I'm out of the picture, it will make things much easier for you. I want you to be the best Queen you can be. You just can't do that with me in the way. Please, let me leave."

I stare into his eyes, trying to find an answer. I don't want him to be miserable, but I don't want him to leave. Do I let him go, or don't I?


	20. Author's Note

**Okay. I'm sorry that this isn't an update. I just felt like I needed to tell you all what was going on. I went to the doctor again today (they were much better today!) and do another strep test. It came out negative. My mom wanted to check to see if I had mono. I did the finger prick and five minutes later, I found out that the results were positive. This has explained so much. I've felt exhausted for about ten days now. I've been able to take a three hour nap after school, wake up to do homework, and then go to sleep for the rest of the night. I hate that I have this, but I'm going to try and update as much as I can. I just wanted to let you know so that if I don't update for a while, you'll now know. **

**The doctor said that I can still play volleyball as long as I feel up to it, so that's a good sign. Idid play a game tonight. I was tired afterwards, but that's probably just the way it's going to be.**

**Thank you all so much for your support! I'm going to try to power through this. There's really nothing I can do except rest. I'm going to go ahead and respond to last chapter's reviews cause I feel like it. (Plus there were only two, so it's not like it's hard to do. :)**

**Mhpropp16- haha. It's like the little engine that could. I think...I think... XD Thanks for the review!**

**Kiren- I think there may have been some typos in there. ;) I like that you have such a strong opinion! :) Thanks for the review!**

**thanks again! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**


	21. Chapter 21

**This may be the crappiest update ever, but I just needed to write something. Do you guys ever feel like you just need to do something? Apparently I did. Anyway, this is kind of a filler chapter. I kind of feel like this chapter repeats a lot of the stuff I've written before. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. I'm tired. I had to sit out of the last 20 minutes of volleyball practice on Friday ****because I was so tired. I've never had to sit out of practice for any reason, so that sucked. I promise the next chapter will be better. I'm already working on it. You guys are going to be pissed at me, but it'll be good. :) **

**Anyway, thanks for reading! Thanks for letting me ramble about my sickness too. I know it sucks to hear about it, but I just need to explain my feelings to explain why this chapter isn't as good.**

**Mhpropp16- I really wish I could use emojis on here. Just picture a laughing/crying face. Thanks for the review!**

**PEETAMELLARKLOVER123- Thanks so much! Maybe I should d taken your advice for this chapter...Nah. :) Thanks for the review and the kind words!**

**Kiren- Same! A lot of people get mad at me for it! :) Who cares. Anyway, thanks for the review!**

**Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

I'm in my room, just waiting to see what Nat will do. After the conversation we had, he's probably going to tell Dad. All I can do is wait and just see what happens. This is all my fault. I never should've asked him to come back to the palace with me. But then would I have found Matthew? We probably would have. But would Matthew and I be in this rough patch? What would my life be like if Nat hadn't come along?

Paige walks in the room. "Princess April," she says tentatively. "It's almost seven, shouldn't you go down for dinner?"

I look up at her. "Uh...Yes." I get up from my bed, where I was sitting. "Thank you, Paige."

"Anytime, Miss." She says.

I walk down the stairs slowly. I really don't want to face my family. What are they going to say? Mom's going to be very disappointed. Crystal probably won't have anything to say. She won't know what to say. Dad will be furious. Lance will try to be supportive, but he'll just end up being judgmental. I wish Nathan weren't still recovering. He would be nothing but supportive. He'd probably say something like, "Nice job. Can we move on now?" He was always the type to be like, "Yeah, it happened. Let's talk about something else now." Medically, he's almost fully recovered. He's got some nasty scars, but he'll be fine. Mentally, he's unstable. He's receiving professional care and will hopefully be coaxed out of this horrible state he's in soon. I miss him so much.

I walk into the dining room quietly and sit down.

"Good evening, April." Mom says.

"Good evening." I say quietly, fiddling with my engagement ring.

"Are you feeling okay?" Dad asks.

"Yeah, I guess." I say.

"Are you sure?" He says.

"Yeah. Just a little tired." I say.

"Anything on your mind?" He asks.

_Oh nothing, I just cheated on my husband a few times._ "Nope. I'm fine." I reply. I try to smile a little.

We finally get our food, and we begin eating in silence.

In the middle of the meal, Lance passes me a note under the table. _Let's talk after dinner._ It says. I look up and nod.

Lance and I go to the gardens after we're finished.

"Are you doing okay?" He asks.

I look up at him and shake my head slightly. "No, not really."

"What's up?" He asks.

I avoid eye contact. "I think you know."

He sighs. "April, you have got to make a decision."

"I know! I know!" I say.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know! I don't know what to do! I'm stuck!" I walk quickly and sit by the fountain. I begin playing with the water and looking at my reflection.

Lance sits by me. "Well you better make your mind up quickly. Matthew's going to be back soon, and he's going to be pretty suspicious about what happened."

"Lance, you don't understand."

"Listen, I saw you and Nat on the roof."

I look up at him. "You did?"

He nods.

"How?"

"I was in Dad's office and I saw you two on the security camera monitors he has in there."

My eyes start tearing up.

"April, be honest, do you love him?"

"I..." I falter. _Do I? _I can't decide.

"Maybe it's just me, but it seems like you love Nat more than you ever loved Matthew."

I look down.

"April, am I right?"

I look up at him.

"April, answer me!" He demands.

"Lance—"

"April, come on."

"Maybe."


	22. Chapter 22

**Okay, I'm really tired, but I can't sleep. Ugh. Here's another update! You all are probably going to hate me. Oh well! Thanks for reading!**

**Kiren- Haha, he will...Or will he? ;) Thanks for the review!**

**Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

**P.S. Can we get to 80 reviews soon? :)**

Matthew is coming him today. Nat still hasn't told anyone anything. I still don't know what I'm going to do. I decide that I need to just talk to Nat. I need to just figure some stuff out. I've asked him to meet me up on the roof. I'm waiting up there now. I tap my fingers on the ledge. I've never felt more nervous in my life. I don't know why I'm so nervous, I just am.

The door finally opens and Nat walks up to me.

"We need to talk." I say.

"I know." He says.

"Listen, you need to stop blaming yourself. This is not your fault. Please don't think that you—"

"April," he interrupts.

"Nat, just let me—"

"No, I understand what you're saying. But I just don't agree with you."

I have nothing to say.

"But I need to do something. I can't just sit here with this secret. I don't want this to keep happening, because I know I won't be able to stop myself from letting this happen."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

He sighs. "April..." He pauses. "April, I've been thinking about this for a while. In fact, I can't stop thinking about this. Ever since I met you in Calgary, I've never been able to stop thinking about you."

I can feel myself blushing.

"I guess I couldn't contain myself a few times, and that's why we've kissed. I..." He trails off again. "I'm in love with you."

I gasp quietly.

"I don't want you to get in trouble or publicly humiliated, so I've made a decision."

"What, what decision?" I ask.

"April, I need to tell Matthew about my feelings for you."

My jaw drops. "You idiot!" I shove him.

He stumbles backwards a bit. "April, I—"

"No! You can't do that! Matthew is going to be furious, and it's just going to make things so much worse. Don't do this!"

"I have to! He deserves to know! I will take full responsibility, and then I'm going to back to Calgary."

"Nat, don't do this." I step closer to him.

"Why not?"

"You just can't! Things will get so much worse if you do!" I raise my voice.

"And why do you care? You won't be the one getting hurt!" He raises his voice to be louder than mine and steps closer.

"Yes I will!" I raise my voice to be louder than his.

"And why is that?" He practically yells,stepping even closer.

"Because I'm in love with you too!" I yell. _Whoa, did I just really say that?_ I step away slightly.

His expression softens. "You what?" He asks.

"I—"

I'm interrupted by the door opening.

"Princess April, Officer Caprio, you two need to come to the King's office immediately."

"What's going on?" Nat and I ask simultaneously.

"Prince Matthew's plane has crashed."


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey guys! This is going to be a short chapter. I just needed to update. That's all! Thanks for reading!**

**Kiren- haha! Idk...SCANDALOUS! As if this story wasn't scandalous enough. :) Thanks for the review!**

**Mhpropp16- haha, Matthew might be dead, but at least there's a cute relationship! ;) Thanks for the review and the nice compliments!**

**T- I'm glad my characters have grown on you! That makes me feel like my story is worth something! Thank you so much! I'm so happy you like my story! Thanks for the review!**

**Guest- okay, 1.) When did I say that Matthew was dead? 2.) Yeah, April being with Nat is wrong. That's the point. 3.) If you don't like the way I writ my story, don't read it. Please go read something you like! I don't want you to read something you hate. I appreciate your input, though! Opinions are important, so thanks for expressing yours!**

**Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

My knees feel weak. I feel like I could drop to the ground. And I do. My knees finally give in and I just fall down on my butt. Nat helps me stand up, takes my hand, and we bolt out the door. I run so fast that I almost fall down so many times going down the stairs. But I manage to keep going. _He could still be okay. He could still be okay. _I keep thinking to myself. We finally reach Dad's office.

"April," Dad says. "I'm so sorry this happened."

"Is he okay?" I realize that I'm crying. I guess I have been for a while.

"We don't know yet. We're waiting to hear from the medical team." Dad says. He wraps me in an embrace.

Is this karma? Is this God punishing me? Why would this happen to me? Why did it have to happen to Matthew? Why wasn't it me?

We wait in Dad's office for three hours before we hear any news. A guard finally comes in with news.

"Your majesty, we have an update on Prince Matthew." He says.

"What is it, Officer Boyd?" Dad asks.

"Prince Matthew is uninjured. He's been air-lifted to a hospital in Midston to make sure he's okay internally." The guard says.

I sigh in relief. "When will we be able to see him?"

"He's going to be there for at least two days. We could fly you all to Midston now, or we could wait a few days to see what happens." Officer Boyd says.

Dad looks at me. "It's your call, April."

I think for a moment. "When can we leave?"


	24. Chapter 24

**I wrote this like 3 days ago! I'm so sorry I forgot to post it! Ugh, memory sucks when it doesn't work. I hope you like this chapter! It's kinda long. Thanks for reading!**

**Kiren-Ikr! I'd be too. :) Thanks for the review! (It was my only review this time.):**

**Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

I feel pretty uneasy flying to meet Matthew after what's happened. I kinda wish Nat was here. He stayed at the palace. We agreed that would be better. But everything is just so nerve-racking for me right now. What am I even going to say to him when I see him?

"Your majesty, we're about to land." The flight attendant tells me.

"Oh, okay." I say. It can't be time to land. The flight's been too short. I'm not ready.

We're at the airport. There are lots of cameras waiting outside. Dad tells me to just ignore them and let the guards lead us to the car. I can hear the reporters shouting questions that I'm glad I'm not answering.

"Princess April! What do you have to say about your suspected scandal?"

"Princess April! What do you have to say about Prince Matthew's plane crash?"

"Princess April! What do you have to say about Prince Christopher's attacks on the palace?"

I keep walking straight ahead, but then I see a small girl standing on the side of the street with a camera, a piece of paper, and a pen. She looks like she's with an older brother, but he and his friend keep pushing her around. One of them steals her camera and holds it above his head so she can't reach it.

"I'll be right back." I tell Dad. Before he can respond, I push through the guards and the reporters. I walk swiftly towards the three.

"April! April! Get back here!" I hear Dad call.

"Excuse me," I say. "Is there a problem here?"

Their jaws drop.

"Uh, uh," one of the boys says.

"No, no, your majesty!" The other one says, bowing.

"Yes there is!" The little girl says, tugging on my dress. "They keep stealing my things!"

"I see." I turn to the boys. "Please, no need to bow. Now, what are your names?"

"I-I-I—" the bowing one stutters.

"He's Ryan and I'm Nick. She's Valerie." The other one says, still in awe.

"Well, Ryan and Nick, I suggest that you give Valerie her camera back and anything else that belongs to her." I say, crossing my arms.

"O-Okay." Ryan says. He hands Valerie her camera. "I'm sorry, Valerie."

"You should be!" She says, sticking her tongue out at them.

"Now, Valerie, that's no way to treat someone!" I say. "Try saying, 'It's okay, I forgive you.'"

"Oh, okay. It's okay, Ryan, I forgive you. You too Nick." She turns to me again. Was that okay?"

I smile. "Much better. Now, why don't we take a picture with that camera?" I ask.

Her eyes widen. "Really?"

"Sure!" I turn to my dad. "Father, would you mind taking a picture of the four of us?"

"Not at all." Dad says with a smile.

He takes the picture and hands the camera back to Valerie.

"Thank you, Your majesty!" She says with a curtsy.

"Your welcome, young lady." He says. "Now, April, we really must be going."

"Alright." I say.

I begin walking towards the car, and just before I get in, Valerie screams, "Thank you!"

I turn around and say, "Your welcome!" Then I get in.

About a minute down the road, Dad says, "You handled that very well."

"Thanks, Dad." I respond.

"Maybe you shouldn't push through a sea of reporters and guards next time."

"We'll see." I say.

We finally reach the hospital. A wave of nervousness rushes over me. Shit. What am I going to say?


	25. Chapter 25

**Okay, I'm going to be honest. I've had some shit happen this week. However, I'm not going to talk about it. I feel like I've done that too much. I fell like I've made it seem like I'm a sob-story looking for attention. I'm really not like that. So from now on, my personal life stays out of my story. You don't need to hear about it and I don't want you all to pity me, because that's not what I'm after. I wanted to tell you what was going on, but it just got too depressing and stupid for me. This has nothing to do with what anyone has said to me, because no one has said anything, it's just a decision I've made. Haha, decision. :) Wow, I'm such a weirdo.**

**Thanks for reading! You guys are always so supportive, and thank you so much for that.**

**Mhpropp16- I guess I can forgive you for not reviewing once. ;) Thanks for reviewing this chapter! Sorry the update wasn't that soon...**

**Kiren- Glad you liked it! Yeah, she was pretty awesome. XD I'm weird. Thanks for the review!**

**Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

We're almost at Matthew's hospital room. My heart is pounding harder by the second. Partially because I don't know what he's going to look like. When we rescued him, my heart almost sank because I knew he was in so much pain. Then when I saw him a few days later, he had been all healed up. I never really saw him in shock or anything. I try to be as brave as I can when we reach his room. I take a deep breath, then I enter the room.

Matthew's sitting up in bed, clearly anticipating our arrival. He looks as nervous as I feel. I don't even say anything, I just run up to him and embrace him. Luckily, no one tries to stop me. He wraps his arms around me. I feel hot tears streaming down my face.

"It's okay, April. I'm okay. I'm okay." He keeps saying.

"I know. I'm just trying to register that." I say.

He holds me like that for a few more minutes, then we finally let go. He holds my hand in his and kisses it. He let's go, and turns to the rest of the people in the room.

"Hello, Matthew." Dad says, giving him a handshake.

"Hello, Maxon. Nice to see you again. Sorry about all of this." Matthew replies.

"It's not your fault." Dad reassures him.

"Matthew," Lance says, giving him a clap on the back. "Good to see you."

"Thanks, Lance." Matthew says. "So, any news on when I'm getting out of here?"

"Tonight," Dad says. "We're flying home."

Matthew gets a concerned look on his face, but he forces it to disappear and smiles slightly again. "Sounds good."

I can tell he's nervous, so I lean over and whisper to him, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"April," he whispers back. "After what I went through with Chris, I'm pretty sure I can handle this."

I give him a look. I guess if he says he's okay with this, then he's okay with it.

He checks out of the hospital. The doctors give him some medicine just in case he has any trouble on the plane. He insists that he doesn't need it, so he doesn't take it. I take it from the doctors and keep it in my purse just in case.

We arrive at the airport, avoid the press, go through security, then finally board the plane. It's about 7:00 pm. I feel exhausted. I should be used to this by now, but I'm not. I ask the flight attendant for a coffee once I'm settled next to Matthew. Once she brings it to me, I sip it quietly. I look over at Matthew. He looks nervous. I loop my arm through his and his face softens. He look over at me and forces a smile.

"Are you going to be okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." He says.

I know I'm supposed to trust him, but I'm also supposed to take care of him. My real question is, when do I give him the meds?

We take off, and I can tell he's nervous. I hold his hand, and he squeezes mine pretty hard. I can tell he's trying to hold back a lot, but I don't know how much longer he'll be able to take it. He squeezes my hand harder by the minute. I gently rub his arm with my other hand. I see sweat dripping down his forehead. He begins to shake a bit too.

"Matthew, you're not okay." I say.

"April, I'm f-fine." He stammers.

"No, Matthew, you're not. You need something." I pull the pills out. "Here, take one."

"April, I-I'm fine. And w-where d-did you get t-those?"

"I took them from the doctor. I thought something like this would happen."

He gives me a look as if to say, _I hate you, but you know me so well I can't be mad at you_.

"Excuse me," I say to the flight attendant. "Could I get a glass of water?"

"Of course." She says, glancing at Matthew.

She gets the water and brings it back.

"Thanks," I say, taking the plastic cup from her. I take out a pill for him to take, but I realize that he can't hold the glass without shaking all of the water out since he's shaking so much. "Matthew, open your mouth." I instruct.

"W-w-what?" He says.

"Just do it!" I say. He does so, and I put the pill in his mouth. I tilt his head back and pour a bit of water in. I close his nose so he'll have no choice but to swallow it. He does so (I even check to make sure he's not hiding it) and in a few minutes he starts to calm down.

"Uh, thank you." He says. I can tell he's embarrassed. I don't blame him.

"Anytime." I say.


	26. Chapter 26

**You all are going to hate me. Just saying! Sorry I haven't updated in so long. Volleyball season's almost over, so I'll hopefully be updating more frequently. I've really thought hard on whether or not I should publish this chapter, but I think I should. It's my gut instinct. You can hate me for it! It won't change the writing! :) That kinda sounds like an inspirational quote...**

**I kinda wanna do a Question of the Day. Idk why. I think it might be fun. So, QOTD: What's your fav song?**

**Mhpropp16- Thank you so much! Things have been better, but thanks for the offer! It warmed my heart! And I'm so glad you like my story! Thanks for the review!**

**Kiren- Ooh, scandalous! This chapter might be a little scandalous as well. #hinthint. ;) Thanks for the review!**

**Missharibos- Thanks for the suggestion, but I can't make you any promises. This goes for anyone. It just depends on what I think should happen. This doesn't mean it won't happen, but I just can't promise it. Thank you for the review!**

**Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

We finally arrive at home. Matthew is exhausted from stressing out about the flight, so he goes on to bed. There's no chance in hell that I'm going to be able to sleep, so I decide to read. I go to the library, pick up a book, and just start devouring the words. This is what I always like to do when I read. I become so engulfed in the story that I kinda forget that I'm not actually part of the story. It sounds stupid and weird, but it's exciting. I read about six chapters, and then I decide to head to bed. I'm tired enough to go to sleep.

I head towards my room. I didn't realize how late it was. I look at a clock on the wall and it says _2:00._ Yikes. I'm going to be tired tomorrow. I walk past dad's office. I realize that there's a light on. I can hear voices coming from inside. That's weird. Dad isn't usually up _this_ late.

"If the press finds out about this, the whole family's reputation will be ruined." I hear Dad say.

_This could be interesting._ I think. I put my ear to the door.

"Maxon, we have to tell April." Mom says.

_Tell me what?_

"That's only going to make things worse." Dad says.

_What is?_

"Maxon, we're talking about a baby."

_What?_

"What she doesn't know won't kill her."

"You sound like your father."

The room is silent for a minute.

"Maxon, wait, I didn't mean it." Mom says.

"America, you did mean it. And you're right. However, we can keep this under the covers and April doesn't have to know. She and Matthew can live a normal life together."

_What does Matthew have to do with this?_

"When you're a royal, your life is nowhere near normal."

_True._

"And besides," Mom continues. "This is Matthew's responsibility. He needs to own up to his actions."

_What actions? What did he do?_

"Look, he gets a girl pregnant, that's his business."


	27. Chapter 27

**Yay! Update! Idk why, I just felt the need to write. Volleyball season is so close to being over! YAYYY! I know that sounds horrible, but I'm just done. I'm going to be busy during Monday and Tuesday (final tournament), but hopefully I'll be able to update more after that!**

**Thanks so much for reading! I'm so happy I got to share my little cliffie last chapter!**

**Kiren- congratulations! You now hold the world record for the longest spelling of the word "what". XD I love how you said the word screwed too. Haha, great review! Made me laugh. :)**

**AcademicGirl- Haha, you sound like Mercedes from Glee. I actually updated kinda soon! Yay me (for once)! Thanks for the review!**

**Mhpropp16- Thanks so much! I love how you're all like, I rest my case! :) Thanks for the review!**

**Guest- You sound like me when I read something I don't like. That happens a lot in The Selection Series. :) And yeah, it was kind of out of character for them, but I felt like it worked. Thanks for the review!**

**Theoneforever- haha, this also sounds like me. Thanks for the review!**

**Missharibos- thank you for being understanding! Most people would just get pissed. Thanks for the review!**

**Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

I run to my room. I can feel the tears running down my face, but I refuse to make a sound until I reach my room. Once I'm there, I shut the door quietly. I run over to my bed, bury my face into a pillow, and begin bawling. I know this won't stop for a very long down. I'm not going to calm down for a long time. I refuse to start screaming. I don't want anyone coming in here. No one can "help" me. Not now. I hate crying. I've always wondered why we do it. There's nothing fun about it. It's really weird, actually. Thinking about how weird crying is doesn't help me at all.

After about ten or fifteen minutes of crying, I realize I don't want to repeat getting dehydrated. I go to the bathroom and fill up a cup with water from the tap. I drink about two glasses, and then I go back to my bed. I'm shaking a bit now. I'm glad no one is trying to talk to me, otherwise I'd be stuttering every word. I grasp a pillow so I have something to hold while I calm down. I seriously can't calm down. The tears just keep flowing, and I can't stop them. I've never cried this hard before. I look over at the clock. I've literally been crying for an hour. I rehydrate and go back to bed again. I still can't stop crying. I get another glass of water and begin sipping it slowly, hopefully stopping the sobs. It helps a little, but not much. Maybe I just need some fresh air. I walk onto my balcony. I'm still crying, but I keep sipping water so my sobs are a little quieter. I calm down a bit more. I get ahold of myself after a while. My breathing is still kind of irregular, but I think I can go back to bed. I walk back into my room just as there's a knock on the door.

"April?" I hear Nat's voice say. "Can I come in?"

I think for a moment. I finally go to the door and open it.

"Hey," he says gently. "Is everything okay?"

I begin crying all over again and I wrap my arms around him.

"Oh," he says, surprised. He hugs me back. "Is everything okay?"

I shake my head. "No," I sob.

"What's wrong?"

I keep crying. _Oh crap_, I think. _I can't even talk_.

"Come on," he let's go a little, but still keeps one arm around me. "Let's got you a drink." He leads me down the hall towards the kitchen. When we're there, the chefs get me a cup of hot chocolate. I sip it quietly for a while until I can calm down.

"Now," Nat says once I finally stop crying. "What happened?"

What should I tell him? I mean, if Mom and Dad were trying to keep this a secret from me, who _are_ they telling?

I take a deep breath. "I got some news, and I'm just pretty upset about it."

"You seem a little more than just pretty upset." He says.

"Yeah." I say, taking another sip.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Wow, that's a good question. I'm kind of surprised he said this instead of prying for further information.

"Can you just promise me something?" I ask.

"Anything." _Oh god, this is every teenage girl's dream_.

I take a deep breath. "Can you just promise me you'll always be there for me?"

"Of course." He says, taking my hand. "I swear."

I finally feel like I can sleep, so I decide to go back to bed. Nat walks me up to make sure I'm okay, and I settle in. For once, I don't have a bunch of distracting thought running through my head. Within a few minutes, I'm out like a light.


	28. Author's Note: Don't get freaked out!

**Hey guys,**

**So I'm sorry that I haven't updated in so long. I got my iPad taken away, and I kind of stopped writing for a while. To be honest, I've been losing inspiration for this story. I feel like I've put myself in a corner and I can't get out. I know I said I wouldn't write about the stuff going on in my life, but I feel like you guys should know about this. I started writing another story. It's not uploaded on here or anything. It's a sequel to The Selection Series, but it also has to do with the tv series Reign (I've become obsessed with it lately:). I've thought about uploading that, but I just want your guys' opinions. I could keep going with Decisions if you want. I just feel like it wouldn't be my best work. I don't want this to sound depressing or anything. I know a lot of Fanfic writers have lost inspiration as well, so it's really weird for everyone right now. I'm sorry if this is disappointing for some of you. That was never my intention.**

**I'd just like to thank all of you for your support. I know my writing is definitely not the best. Thanks for commenting, faving, following, and for just reading. You guys are so awesome!**

**I'm going to respond to the last chapter's comments just cuz.**

**Kiren- :) We'll have to see! Thanks for the review!**

**Mhpropp16- haha, you have such confidence in him! :) Thanks for the review!**

**Theoneforever- Uhhh, thanks? ;) I'm glad you feel so passionate! Thanks for the review!**

**Guest- thanks for your support! We'll see what happens! Thanks for the review!**

**Leave a comment telling me what you think I should do. Thank you guys!**

**-ReadLikeYouMeanIt**


	29. Chapter 29

**Okay, most of the comments I got wanted me to continue with the story. So I will. I may update infrequently, but you all are probably used to that by now. Thank you all so much for your support. You all made me realize I need to write more often. It relieves my stress, and it let's me get away from everything for a while. So thank you all.*insert kissy-faced emoji here***

**Thank you so much for reading! This chapter's pretty long, but I think you all will like it. Remember to leave a review! I love hearing from you all!**

**Mhpropp16- Now that I'm back, don't lose hope! ;) Thanks for the review!**

**Kiren- I AM! ;) Thanks for the review!**

**Guest- I actually didn't know there was another one! I'm just super obsessed with Reign. :) Thanks for the review!**

**Theoneforever- don't apologize for being weird! Being weird is awesome! And thanks so much for the review!**

**Guest- I will! Thank you so much!**

**Smallbumpsalongtheway- I feel you. But I'd keep trying on your story! If you can't find any inspiration I understand. And Reign is so awesome! I'm so addicted. :) thanks for the review!**

**Thank you all so much! Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt**

When I wake up the next morning, I don't want to get out of bed. I want to stay in my warm blankets, safe from the rest of the world. I don't get up. I just lay there, trying not to think about the new information I've learned. I try to block it out, but there's no way that's going to happen.

After a while, I hear a knock on my door.

"April, can I come in?" Crystal asks.

"Yeah," I answer.

"Hey," she says as she opens the door.

"Hey," I say as I sit up.

"Feeling okay?"

"Uh, not exactly."

"Really?" She asks, surprised. "Why not?"

I sigh. "I got some disturbing news."

Her eyes widen. "What was it?"

"Uh," I pause. You know what? She deserves to know. "I overheard Mom and Dad saying that Matthew got a girl pregnant." I can feel the tears coming.

She sighs with relief. "Okay, I thought something else was wrong."

"Wait, what?" I practically yell. The tears don't feel like they're coming anymore.

"Mom and Dad sent me here to break the news to you, but I guess you already knew."

"How long have they known?" I say, angrily.

"I'm not sure. They wouldn't tell me."

My jaw drops. "This is unbelievable. They can't even tell me themselves."

There's a bit of a pause, then Crystal says. "April, how _did_ you find out?"

"Oh, I couldn't sleep last night, so I went downstairs and I heard them talking about it."

"Oh." She says. "What did you do?"

"Well, I cried for a while. I couldn't calm down for a really long time, so I went downstairs to get something to help. Then I ran into Nat and he helped me calm down."

"Does he know?"

"Unless someone else told him, no."

"You kept a secret like that and still managed to calm down?"

I nod.

"Okay, that's impressive." She says.

I smile slightly. "It's not easy."

"So...how are you going to tell Matthew?"

"I don't know."

"Well you have to tell him soon. Don't let this go for a long time. I don't want you to live with this for long."

"I don't want to either."

Crystal and I make a plan and get ready for the day. I put on a light blue day-dress that goes to my knees. I also put on a pair of ivory flats and an ivory sweater. I leave my hair down and only put on a bit of foundation and mascara. I also put on a necklace April gave me a while ago. I sigh as I get ready to go downstairs.

We've missed breakfast, so we go to lunch. We get there early, but Dad is already there.

"April," he says, surprised. "Nice to see you up."

"Hi Dad," I say.

"Crystal, can I talk to you for a moment?" Dad asks.

"It's okay, I already know about Matthew." I say.

"You do?" His jaw drops.

"Yeah." Crystal says.

"Oh..." He trails off. "Well, you aren't reacting like I thought you would."

I smile. "Neither am I."

Dad smiles back. "Well, shall we eat?"

"Where's Mom?" I ask.

"She went to see Nathan." Dad says.

"Oh my God, I didn't even think if going to see him. I haven't seen him in weeks!" I get up to go see him, but Dad stops me.

"April, April, you can see him later. For now, just sit down and eat." He instructs.

I sigh and sit back down. "Can I at least hear about how he's doing?"

"He's been improving. He's actually responding to people. He still has some times when he just goes into silence, but they've been lessening." Dad says.

"Good, I guess." I say as I begin eating the soup that has been placed in front of me.

I finish eating pretty quickly. I dismiss myself and I go to see Nathan. I haven't seen him in so long. I hope I'll be okay. I hope he'll be okay. I just have no idea what this is going to be like. The nurse let's me into the room he's in. Mom's in there, just sitting next to him quietly.

"Nathan," the nurse says. "Princess April is here to see you."

Nathan looks up at me. I can see all of the misery in his eyes. He has huge bags under his eyes. His hair is in a mess. He looks so much skinnier. He's gotten a bit taller since I've seen him. I walk over to his bed as slow as I can, so I can try to read his reaction to me being here. I can't tell. The emotion is completely gone from his eyes. It hurts to see him like this. He doesn't deserve to go through this. He's seen too much to only be sixteen. I reach his bedside and give him a hug. He hugs me back, surprisingly. In fact, he doesn't seem to want to let go. I can feel something on my shoulder: tears. He begins sobbing quietly. I stroke his hair gently to try to calm him down, but I can feel tears of my own coming on.

"I've missed you so much." He says.

"I've missed you too." I say as a tear leaks out. "I'm so sorry I didn't come to see you any sooner."

"I don't care." He says.

We stay like that for a while, then he finally releases his grasp. We let go and I sit on his bed with him. Mom's still in the room. She looks teary-eyed herself.

"How've you been?" He asks.

"It's been rough. Especially without you to bother me." I nudge him.

He smiles. "What all's happened?"

_My husband's cheated on me._ "Well, there have been more attacks."

"I know about that. They go into full lock-down here when they happen."

"Oh." I falter.

"How's Matthew?"

My throat tightens. "Um, he's fine. He went to visit his family recently."

"That's good. And Nat?"

"He's good too."

He holds up a finger. "But you said Matthew was fine. Does that mean he's good too since you said Nat was good as well as him?"

"Yep, you haven't changed." I say.

He smiles.

We catch up for a little while longer and I eventually have to leave. The nurse leads me out of the room so Nathan can have his daily therapy. I stop at the desk outside of Nathan's room.

"When will he be released from the hospital?" I ask the nurse.

"If he keeps improving at the rates he's been improving at, hopefully a few weeks. However I can't guarantee anything."

"Thank you." I say.

Maybe I can get one thing in my life back in order.


End file.
